Whoever invented the megabus certainly held this philosophy. Cram a whole bunch of tired, angry people into a small space and you have a recipe for entertainment. I happen to be a frequent traveler on such vehicles of exploration, and I decided to share a few of my stories with you all.
It was one dreary morning, and the tension was high. In fact it was so thick you could cut it like butter. Angry mothers, slap-happy children, and one apathetic bus driver combined for numerous linguistically colorful outbursts. After finally getting checked into the bus, next comes the most awkward 45 seconds known to man; find a seat next to the least creepy-looking stranger. If you are one of the lucky few that manages to find a seat all to yourself, count yourself lucky. This awkward musical musical chairs goes on for about 25 minutes as each disgruntled passenger finds their seats.
If you can manage to not fall asleep, you will undoubtedly find a story or two in the midst of the madness. As any good public transportation student would do, I plugged in my headphones and began pretending like I was shutting out the world. After about 20 minutes, out of the corner of my eye I notice an older woman take off her hat.. No big deal right? My first thought, however, was "wait a second, she wasn't wearing a hat." I take a second look and realize that she has just pulled off a wig, leaving her completely bald. The wig itself looked like a WW2 replica Soviet bearskin cap. Perhaps the most entertaining encounter I've had, ever.
On the same trip, there happened to be a very large, thugged out gentleman in front of me. His equally thugged out woman friend was sitting next to him and about 30 minutes into the trip, went berserk. Why you ask? The large, 50-cent like gentleman was snoring. I mean he was cutting trees. With a hedge trimmer. It was the single most spectacular example of snoring I have ever heard. Imagine a car engine that simply won't turn over coming out of a pimped out Fat Albert. Several people in the back began to laugh, and that set off the "I love New York" impersonator. Who needs cable when you have the megabus?
I hope to have brightened your day slightly by sharing some of my more humorous interactions...
If not, Jesus still loves you.
Soli Deo Gloria
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